I Am Truly Lost (If He Can't See The Best In Me)
by Ballycastle-Bat
Summary: AU: Oliver and Barry report to Earth Thirty-Eight to assist Kara in taking down a particularly nasty foe. Oliver learns that everything hasn't been taken from him, he still has just one fear. Barry Allen.


AN: I threw this together when I was feeling angsty, you can decide if its romamtic or not. P.S. I've never used the crossover function on FFN, so if I tagged anything weird I apologise.

BA OQ BA OQ

"I already told you that I don't need your help, Oliver," said Kara defiantly. "Everyone is babying me, but I'm fine. I've moved past it and I'm ready to take this meta down on my own."

"Barry and I are just here as backup, nothing more. If we aren't needed, we will fall back," of course Oliver was lying through his teeth. He knew this situation must have been bad if Alex had reached out to not just Barry, but Oliver as well.

He had agreed to this mission because he felt he could be useful. All of his greatest fears had already been realised-- he had nothing left for Psi to use against him. Or so had initially thought.

Oliver aimed his bow at the meta, his vision faltered for a moment before he sent an arrow to pierce her left eye.

Psi dropped like a fly, landing on the floor.

There wasn't even a hesitation-- he just killed her. He didn't even give Barry or Kara a chance to intervene. He just shot her down without a second thought, no mercy, no remorse.

"What did you do?" Barry demanded. "I thought you weren't like this, Oliver. You promised me that you weren't a killer, not anymore." he said seriously, staring at the body and then back at Oliver--

Oliver's heart stopped.

The way Barry looked at him, it was the way he looked at the criminals he looked at Thawne or Zoom-- he looked at Oliver like he was looking at a monster.

"I trusted you, Oliver. I _believed_ in you."

Oliver had already lost everything. If even Barry couldn't see good in him anymore, he was beyond lost.

BA OQ BA OQ

Oliver awoke in an unfamiliar location. He could make out that it was a medbay, but it wasn't one he'd ever been in before. He jolted upright, his eyes darting around the room.

"Mr. Queen, you're in the D.E.O. Medbay." Alex's voice rang through the room.

Oliver laid eyes on her, and he felt confused. He couldn't remember the day's events. The last thing he remembered was Barry's face.

"Where's Barry?"

"I'll go tell him you're awake. Your vitals are all looking great."

"Tell him I'm sorry."

Alex looked confused but disappeared out the doorway.

"Oliver is asking for you," said Alex, pulling Barry away from his intense conversation with Winn about a new design for the comms, they wanted to attempt to make them more easily compatible with each other's, to make team-ups easier without using separate sets of comms.

"Me?" Barry raised his eyebrows. "Okay." he shrugged and halfway down he realised he was probably in for a talking to. After Oliver went down during their confrontation with the meta. Barry had acted recklessly and if he was being honest he wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"What do you want, Oliver?"

Barry's tone made something inside oh him feel … lost.

"I don't know why I did it. That wasn't supposed to happen."

Barry's attitude melted away and he crossed the room to meet Oliver who was now sitting up on the bed. His eyebrows pulled together as his blatent confusion showed through in his features.

"What?"

"I didn't want to kill her. I am different now. I'm better, Barr." he had no idea why he killed her, that wasn't even an option moving in.

Barry had never seen Oliver look vulnerable before. Not once in all the years they've known each other had he ever seen Oliver look at him like this.

"Oliver, what do you think happened out there?" Barry sat down on the bed beside him.

"I killed her," Oliver clasped his calloused hands together.

"Oliver, Gayle is secured downstairs," he spoke seriously, placing one hand on Oliver's folded ones.

"She's dead, Barry. My arrow went right through her eye," he couldn't understand why Barry was acting like this.

"Oliver, she got inside your head. You went down and I took her down while she was distracted by you. Whatever you think happened, that was just her playing tricks on you."

"I don't have anything left that she could have used against me, Barry."

"Walk me through what happened?" he squeezed Oliver's arm gently.

"I don't know. I killed her, and you were disappointed. You said you believed in me, and that you thought I was better. You looked at me like I was a monster," he wasn't sure why he was telling Barry all this. Perhaps part of him wanted Barry to reassure him further that it didn't happen, but he would never admit that. He stopped and thought about it, trying to piece everything together.

"That doesn't make any sense," Barry wasn't sure what any of that could mean.

"I think it does." The two sat in a long silence before Oliver spoke again. "She used _you_ against me."

"Why would she be able to use me against you?"

"Because, I think … that if you ever stopped believing in me, then I would know that I was too far gone. There would be no more hope for me."

"Well, I would never stop beliving in you, Ollie."

Barry's hand pused between Oliver's and held one of them tightly, neither of them spoke further.


End file.
